Rose? AAAAAAAHHH!!!What the fuck? Oh, sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Haiii. Uh, what is it this time? Well, imagine this. You let your employer know in advance that you can't go to work earlier than 9AM because you have a very important meeting that will allow you to have hot water and full electricity in your shitty little flat at 8:30AM. And your boss is like "Oh, that means that 8:30AM would be a perfect time for you to start!!". AAAAAHHHH!!! I couldn't go there! I couldn't ask my questions about the meter! I couldn't get the fucking electricity sorted out! I won't have hot water for probably another month! And it's all because I have fucking work!!!! And that work still doesn't pay my fucking bills!!! I was crying for like 3 hours yesterday because of everything. If I could only afford to run away. I need to change my job and I can even do escorting. I can try to make it safe for me, I really can....
You know why I like being a puppygirl so much? Because it allows me to turn off my thoughts. It allows me, with the right person, to just let go. When I'm like that I don't worry about food, I don't worry about money, I don't worry about housing, bills, job, nothing. I have someone that makes me feel safe. Someone that takes care of me and my needs and I'm just a barking mutt with no thoughts that doesn't have to act human. Or how I heard "pretend to be a human". That's why I love it so much. I...I fucking need that sometimes. I especially like how with the right person they can blend praising me with calling me "it", like the concept of me being human was never real. Fuck, I need that now. Yes, I think that it's addictive and me having someone that would treat me like a pup/toy like 24/7 and be that owner would be a fucking dream to me and if there was a real option for that I would agree but right now even few hours of petplay like that would be enough. It would help, I think. I hope. I just need that now.
~Love Rose