10/04/2026
If you really think about it, your life depends only on your decisions, consequences of them and luck. What? What? Someone said anything? I'm sitting in a hot ambulance while my eyes are playing a game called "we're either going to work or not, and we still didn't decide". I'm riding with a different driver today and I don't really like him. I mean. It's better that I can be here and work and get money instead of calling out (like my normal driver did because our ambulance went to repair) but this driver is just...not good. he's...he is the danger on the road. He almost crashed the ambulance three times and it's been only two hours. Rose, where the fuck do you work? [REDACTED]. That's like the worst company there is. I need to change my job to better paying one but it's hard to find that with as flexible hours. Look, the fact that my boss doesn't give a fuck about this company is the reason why we have terrible equipment. It's also why I have flexible hours, because if he doesn't care then why should anyone care. So I can just call off work a day before and nobody gives a fuck. Other companies care. But maybe, just maybe, they pay a bit better. But that's a long shot. I mean, minimal wage for someone in medical field is insane. I try so hard. I'm doing a lot. I know a lot. I have great competences. Why do I have to struggle to make a living? Why do I have to worry about whether I'll have money for food or not? I really can't work more than I already do. I mean, maybe I can. Maybe I can just close my TTRPG club forever, that way I can squeeze in the only day in the entire week when I don't work and I don't have uni. Sure, I won't have any day for myself or friends or family or really anything but at least I'll have 200PLN more....Fuck. I finish work usually around 6pm maybe 7/8PM. If I'll learn how to properly do tattoos and not do shitty handpoke for free like I do now, maybe I can find people that would pay me for doing that and actually have time past 8PM. Or I can find some cheap camera, pirate Photoshop and pray to the universe for someone to want to buy my photos. But they would be mostly evening or night photos. Come on Rose, think. Porn is the last resort. Actual porn I mean. I can do it but I need to know that I'll make money out of it. It can't be a maybe.
And obvi obvi I kinda forgot to finish this so like...yea. That's all because I said so and shit and like listen to whatever bullshit I've put under this.
~Love Rose