16/03/2026
For the past week I've been waking up before 6AM, I probably said that already yesterday, whatever, who cares. I'm drained. I moved half of my wardrobe to the new apartment and I have half the electricity there. It means I have lights in the room and one power outlet in the room plus all the power outlets in the kitchen. No light in the kitchen, no electricity in the bathroom and no warm water and no induction in the kitchen. But you know what? It's okay. I have heaters that will keep me warm, I have electric kettle, I can shower in cold water. I'll be fine I guess. I'm a tough girl.
Yea, "tough girl". I miss cuddling. It's been quite some time since I actually cuddled with someone. I really miss that. I miss the feeling of other person's body pressed against mine. Their heat radiating to my body and my own radiating to theirs. Their scent pressed agaisnt my nose for me to inhale and cherrish. I miss the closeness, the safety, the feeling of staying in that one moment. I miss the assurance that I'm truely there, in that one moment, with that one person, and nothing bad can happen to me or them, that we are truely there with nothing else bothering us. I miss that. I yearn for that. I miss the mutual trust, the feeling of not being judged no matter how clingy or quircky I can be. It may be stupid but I miss biting the person I'm cuddling. Not like the bite is hard, hurting or anything like that, just a little gentle bite to secure myself in that moment. Maybe to check if they are really there and that I'm not on some type of lucid dreaming or high and imagining stuff. I miss that so much. I want that. I need that. I yearn for that.
~Love Rose