Rose's Pit

15/03/2026

Heya cuties! Hey Rose! How's moving out? Kinda good honestly! Tomorrow I'm going with the owner to the energy company so that they will hook some energy to it. Not the one that is finally going to be there (like, 3-phase meter or smth) but the lesser one so I'll have some light and electricity in some contacts. I packed almost all my clothes to cardboard boxes and I took my books and music discs to the apartment so I've been productive. And I went to IKEA with my parents and they bought me dishes and took pics of a bookshelf I really liked so maybe I'll have that in the nearest future. I need to buy myself an iron tho bc I can already tell that it's not going to be easy without it. And a drying rack or shit like that. And I don't have hot water there but it's okay. Rose, how the fuck "it's okay" to not have hot water?Hey I'm not judging you! I'm a dirt-puppy, okay? Calm down. Sure it's not the best but I can always use the electric kettle to boil some and clean myself in the laudry bowl or just shower with cold water. I can do that! It wouldn't be my first! Whatever. What's important is first: electricity, second: wardrobe, third: hot water, fourth: better electricity. And that's the plan. Also, why is doing all that stuff so fucking hard? Like, it will be my third time in like 8 days where I'm going to the energy company! It's inasne how little help they can offer and how little I know! Did you know for exaple that I live under 56a and not 56? I didn't. I don't even know what 1-phase and 3-phase meter mean. They ask me about the power limit and I'm in my head like "um....I want light and hot water and heating and some eletric outputs in the wall so....enough for that?". Like, come on, can we all stop pretending that we are robots? This world honestly turned almost unliveable. You go to any company, gym, bank, town hall, anthing, and people there act like robots, talking about procedures, protocols and offerts that mean nothing to you because they use such a specific language while "explaining" that you question where you even are. Honestly I've heard people explaining coding and heavy machinery usage easier than people in service explain what they want from you. And after all that explaining it is your fault that you don't understand. They will make you feel like you're the dumbest person on earth because that's basic stuff for them. Look, I get it, it's your job, but you're a fucking human and I'm a fucking human. I want something, really want and I need that, and you have that something, you can offer me that, that's what they pay you for. Don't talk this office bullshit to me, talk to me like you'd explain it to your friend or family. Explain to me slowly, I don't know what I'm doing, you need to walk me through it, it's my first time. If that's so fucking easy to do, Rose, then you do that. Oh yea? fine. Look, if you want to mechanically secure someones airways without intubating them, you have few options. First, easiest, OPA (Oropharyngeal airway). It's a tube that sits from your teeth all the way to your thoat. It's easy to put on and easy to take out but you need to be deeply unconscious to put one in. It's small and shaped like an arch.
Second option is LMA (Laryngeal mask airway). Preferably something called I-gel. It's a tube with something that looks like a mask or ear at the end that again, starts at your front teeth but goes all the way down to your glottis, basically where your vocal chords are. I-gel seals it all tight because it's thermoactive. It's extreamaly easy to put in and out and really amazing and works better than OPA because it goes in deeper but again you need to be deeply unconscious to put one in. That way you have a stable and secure airway and you can give someone oxygen. Want to see how it's explained profesionally? Google that shit. But you don't need all that weird names. You need to know OPA- plastic arch. LMA- tube with mask/ear at the end. LMA-deeper pref when there's more trauma, OPA-faster pref when there's less trauma. That's all! It's not hard to easily explain difficult shit. I'm a human, you're a human, let's talk like we're humans and not like we're robots.
From different news, some days ago I gave my friend a rose quatrz ifkyk and today she told me that she looked up what that means and why did I give it to her. Chat are we cooked? I told her she can always give it back and she said that she knows but it feels like she shouldn't. Whatever, her choice, it would be nice if she'd keep it ofc, like, I gave it to her with intention so it would be nice but like, if she doesn't feel comfortable having it then her comfort is most important so I won't be mad if she decides to give it back.
I'm living on adrenaline the past few weeks, or rather past week. I don't think that's healthy but there is no way of me not doing it for some time now. Like, moving out, changing my documents, finding friends. It's all way too exciting for me to not live on high all the time. I've been constantly waking up before 6AM and it will take it's toll, just not now, probably some time when I'll actually have to wake up very early. Also, the fact that I'm quitting vaping is not helping because it's a big habit of mine and whenever I'm stressed, chilling, working, I had my hands doing something and now it feels weird. I will smoke but on a special occasion and it's not going to be a vape and it's going to be with someone. Just like drinking. I don't drink. I don't have the time to do it. But when I'm with someone and they suggest it or we're watching a movie and there is wine or beer? Sure, why not. I have two beer in the not working fridge of my new apartment, waiting for me to move in and to invite someone for a sleepover. That's the plan.
Also, I'm thinking about switching to diy hrt. My estrogen levels are low and I've been taking this shit for 6 months. My endo says that they are good, but I'm starting to doubt her. They went 3 points lower comparing first 3 months and latest 3 months so how they can be good? But diy is very specific and expensive and it's a big decision to make. I'll still be going to her but I don't know. The thought is somewhere there and I will have to decide. The effects are...not satisfying.
Anyway, it got too serious so it's time for like a fart joke or some shit and we'll be good. I don't think I'll sleep well today bc of the stress but fuck it, we ball. Check out what I've been listening today. ~Love Rose