Rose's Pit

29/04/2026

Hello you absolutely awesome people in my puter! Hello weird online stranger person! How you've all been? Hai Rose, kinda chill and you? Well thank you for asking. I've been great. Apart from like, struggling with mental concequences of my desperate decision that will haunt me and my yestreday's sudden breakdown - I'm great! What do you mean? Oh you know, like, the thing. And yesterday I had to do my injection and I decided to shoot in the thigh muscle. So I did and of-fucking-course I hit a nerve. And then I got scared. And I panicked. And I thought that I'm a fucking failure because it takes me so much time to do it and I can't find the right place and I hit a nerve and other girls can do it blindfolded and I'm not worthy of doing that and I should detransition if I can't do my injections. What? Nothing. I managed to do it after 2 hours and a lot of drawing on my body, but I did it. I'm already stressing out when I think that I have to do it in a week. But you know. Life. And the other thing? No.
I'm okay. I payed my electric bills and I still have a tiny amount of money left. I'll need to fuel my car and it will take absolute everything but it's okay. This month is ending. New chapter of Rose's life is starting. A happy arc. I think I fell for someone. She's coming over to me for a week very very very soon. I'll cook for her and we'll watch movies and cuddle and she's so sweet and so nice and so understanding and I feel safe with her, not judged at all and she's very mature emotionally and she respects my needs and bounderies and like, it's everything I could've asked for. I really like her. We'll take things slow and all but I already can see her in my future. I have feelings for her. Romantic feelings. Oh my god, Rose and romantic feelings, what can go wrong You know, everything, but I'm more mature now, I'm stable now and I respect myself more. My friends taught me so many important things about self worth and mutual respect and communication that I really won't settle for less. And Hannah? Hannah is amazing. She's really all I wanted. I know it's fast and we both agreed to like, take our time, but I'm so excited to meet her IRL. I feel like a teenager in love. I'm literally on a voice chat with her right now and I'm reading her book. She's so amazing. Okay enough for today, I'll write something bigger soon.
~Love Rose